Before The Internet…

A long running joke among my friends and coworkers is exactly how many jobs I’ve held.  Once, when I was explaining the three projects I chose to work on simultaneously, a friend of mine was like, “Who do you think you are, Hey Mon?”

For the unitiatied, Hey Mon is an old sketch from the show In Living Color, which (like most of their humor) was based on stereotypes.  In the Hey Mon sketch, the Headley family is comprised of hard-working West Indian immigrants – many of whom work three or more jobs.  Here’s a video of one of the sketches:

Gotta go to work indeed! Before I shifted my career to the online space, here’s a list of things I did to make money:

  • Launched an ill-conceived car washing business with other ten year olds in the neighborhood (why did all five of us work for $20?)
  • Was the nanny and childcare provider for a woman who was someone else’s nanny and childcare provider
  • Learned to perfectly swirl a cup of yogurt
  • Spent 24 hours as a telemarketer
  • Was tipped $10 for making “the best looking sandwich ever” working at Blimpies
  • Beloved camp counselor to two generations of kids
  • Front door hostess at a dive that didn’t need anyone watching the front door
  • Worked at the movie theater box office for the 6th busiest AMC theater in the nation
  • Donned a Cat- in-the-Hat topper and painted whiskers on my face to entertain children as a Jeepers Party Pro
  • Got my first office gig in a slightly dysfunctional call center
  • Apprenticed in the fading art of developing film at Ritz Camera
  • Learned about Washington lawyers and government corruption as a litigation assistant
  • Became a recruiter’s assistant and learned why you should never go back to a job you quit
  • Painful lessons in negotiation and relationship building learned at a website
  • Became privy to the ins-and-outs of Government contracting at the Library of Congress
  • Got a crash course in the non profit world as a consultant for an eco-focused center
  • Waited on Washington’s literati on and off for close to six years at Kramerbooks/Afterwords Cafe
  • Chucked it all to become a freelance writer in 2009

For some strange reasons, I’ve never worked retail, prepared hot food, or worked at Starbucks.  Then again, we will see what happens next year.